Affair recovery is possible.

By following the right steps after an affair, healing and restoration are possible.

Welcome to Healing Affairs

Betrayal trauma creates deep psychological wounds that require specialized support for optimal healing.

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Get to the source

Identify and treat the underlying issues that led to your affair.

Our approach to marital affair recovery examines the root causes of infidelity in your unique situation.

FIND COMMON GROUND

Get help from a professional who’s “been there”.

Amanda Asproni established Healing Affairs after her own experience with marital infidelity.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP:

Schedule your marital affair recovery session.

Betrayal trauma unlocks past unresolved hurts and fears that compound the pain of infidelity.

5 Things To Know About Affair Recovery

by Amanda E. Asproni,
Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling; Founder, Healing Affairs

Sexual betrayal destroys our basic human need for a secure and loving primary attachment, it traumatizes the hurt spouse, rocks the sanctity of the marital bond and the family unit as a whole.

Healing from an affair is capricious.

Many come in thinking they know what will happen next, how the story will end. Some initially think marriage after an affair is not possible, only to find out it is possible. Others may discover that healing after an affair leads to the dissolution of the relationship, yet personal restoration required professional help and support. Specialized affair recovery counseling was necessary in order to create a strong, meaningful, interpersonal support network, which makes recovery complete and paves the way for healthy intimate partnerships down the road.

Coping with infidelity is interlaced into one’s past.

The problem is never just the problem when it comes to how one recovers after an affair. The sexual betrayal can become a triggering event that can entwine into a person’s past relationship issues, negative childhood experiences, dysfunctional core beliefs, spirituality, and personality-type. So often the problem is not just the problem, it can be many problems that compound the current problem. Past struggles or insecurities before the infidelity was discovered may have been boxed up or stuffed in one’s psyche, yet after infidelity, unresolved issues often demand to be acknowledged and healed. Identifying and resolving unfinished business, is a part of surviving infidelity and healing after an affair. Sexual betrayal can often open Pandora’s box, where past wounds, negative core beliefs and maladaptive coping patterns bubble to the surface, needing to be addressed and processed in order to obtain long-term healing.

Recovering from an affair is delicate.

Enlisting help from those whom lack personal and/or professional experience and expertise can further complicate, damage and prolong the already laborious and daunting process of healing after an affair. Partnering with professionals who have been there, done that, and are also trained in this niche often reduce feelings of confusion, anxiety, hopelessness and fear in the individual and coupleship. Experienced professionals, especially those who also have personally walked the path of how to heal from an affair, have a breadth of knowledge and the ability to create road maps, answer often enigmatic questions that perplex the betrayed and clarify and validate seemingly convoluted or unbelievable answers unfaithful spouses often give to the how and why questions.

Surviving infidelity is a matter of multi-faceted healing.

Professionals understand taking a trauma inventory is quintessential to proper treatment planning and long-term recovery. Complex trauma often is uncovered when an individual or couple seeks to overcome infidelity and/or sexual addiction (aka compulsive sexual behavior). Healthy human-beings function well across multiple domains. Holistic healing includes a person’s ability to develop and maintain deep interpersonal relationships, be authentic, congruent and integrated emotionally and spiritually, have proper boundaries, mature communication and emotional intimacy with family, friends and co-workers, accept accountability in relationships, and cope with stress, loss and disappointment without the use of self-destructive behaviors or thinking patterns. All of this is incorporated into the process of healing from an affair and/or sexual addiction.

Overcoming infidelity in marriage is about internal motivation.

Internal motivation, and perseverance. If the unfaithful spouse has strong internal motivation and perseverance to do whatever it takes, including the crucial component of developing empathy for the betrayed spouse, the prognosis is hopeful. Narcissism will be present where there is infidelity or compulsive sexual behavior. But narcissism is present in most relationships, period. The goal is to turn the narcissistic behaviors into empathetic relating to others, not just the betrayed spouse. Often for the betrayed spouse, treating the trauma is a key component of reducing anxiety and rage. Find a professional with clinical mental health professional with specific training in a trauma modality such as Emotional Transformation Therapy, EMDR, Neurofeedback or psychodrama (to name a few).

SUCCESS STORIES:

A Direct & Actionable Approach

“Amanda walked with me during the most tragic time of my life. When I felt there was no hope for my marriage to truly heal from infidelity- she spurred me on. With raw and transparent honesty, Amanda spoke into my life. That she had been where I was, inspired and encouraged me. I found practical strategies for coping and moving forward. I am so grateful for having had made this connection with Amanda during my recovery.”
ShannonMother of 4, Social Services Project Coordinator, Canada

Authenticity & Understanding

“Amanda is someone who puts her heart and soul into helping other people through some of the most difficult times in their lives. Infidelity has a way of making people feel isolated and Amanda has the ability to reach out to that person and let them know that they are not alone. She is amazingly supportive and we are blessed to have had her help us along this road.”
Lucas & ElizabethArmy Soldier & Mother of 4, Washington State

Lifting the Burden of Blame

“Over three years ago I found out that my husband was involved with another woman. I pushed everything down inside, pretending all was normal on the outside, we tried to go on with our lives. I sank deeper and deeper into depression. I felt like I was trapped and wished that God would just take me so I would not have to endure the shame, insecurities, trauma and isolation of this offense. I cried out to God so many times, it seemed there was no one listening. But God led me to a group of women lead by Amanda, who walked me through the things I needed to confront not only in my husband, but in my self. Only those who have shared a similar experiences can know the pain, anxiety, fear, and rejection you are dealing with or are not dealing with. Amanda is that person. She was always kind hearted. Over and over she took the blame for his affair off of my shoulders and put it back where it belonged, on him. She encouraged me to take up for myself, something I had never done. I know that she prayed for me and my marriage all the way through this process and is probably still praying. I am in a much better place now than I was before. I am healing. It is hard to find help these days that actually knows how to deal with infidelity. If you think that you can work through this process on your own, you are deceiving yourself. Whether or not you divorce or stay in your marriage, you need help.”
DonnaAgriculturer, Missouri

Comfort & Trustworthiness

"Amanda was a blessing. We were introduced to her during a very painful time in our lives. We were desperate to know if our marriage could be saved after my husband’s infidelity. She has a way of making you very comfortable to share information and letting you know you are not alone. Gaining that trust is critical for a couple to heal and grow. We will forever be grateful."
Greg & MarieOffice Manager & Accountant, Texas

Keeping Things Down-to-Earth

“Amanda is very real, honest, and easy to talk with because she is a great listener and empathizer. I’m extremely grateful to have her…someone who can speak positively into my life.”
JoyMother of 4 & Small Business Owner, Texas

Making Way for Healing

“I am so thankful to Amanda for being there during some of my darkest times. She was able to encourage me and explain why the way that I was was completely normal at a time in my life when I did not trust anything anymore. She encouraged me to truly find myself and allow myself what I needed to heal in order to be able to look at my marriage as a strong woman, not a victim. Thank you Amanda for picking me up when I was down."
Lisa (Mother of 5 and CEO), Iowa

Kindness & Insight

“Amanda is a kind and patient listener who offers practical solutions and helps me see where I can improve. She also helps me empathize with the other person through her own experiences. You will never feel like you’ve wasted your time.”
LeeGeneral Manager, Oklahoma City

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

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